“Can’t you do it on your own?”
“It’s your responsibility.”

Two phrases I heard recently from those near and dear to me as I shared about the growth of my business.  The first comment was said by a family member with care and concern in their voice…wanting to ensure that I not get hurt, used, nor overextend financially.  The second phrase was said by a close friend, one who has walked through the valleys of life with me; through to the other side to enjoy the light and blessings with me. So I was shocked to hear censure in her voice.  Like a mom’s scolding, laced with ‘shoulds’.

Many of you have said things like:

“I can’t afford to hire anyone.”

“I’m not good at dealing with people.”

“If I can’t do it all myself, I’m a failure.”

What other things are you hearing? Thinking?  What thoughts come, unbidden when you start to feel overwhelmed, taxed, alone; when you know what needs to be done to grow your business and make an impact?  What expectations lurk?

Once we talked it through, both of them began to see that ongoing hiring is fundamental to building a business and gave me their support.  Note that these comments surfaced even though they both know I already have contract support….and we wondered where those expectations come from.  They must be in the collective consciousness (or subconscious) as support of any kind is one of the biggest issues for women.  Many of you…ok, all of you are struggling with support in some area of your life:  household, relational, contract, employee, vendor, community….

Some of you have over a million in revenues, many of you are in the mid-high six figures…others are just below $100,000; regardless the issues around support are the same:  I must do it myself.

We can hear the inferences in both phrases…aren’t you capable?  You’re irresponsible.  They question our character, who we are and are therefore powerful drivers in business and personal decision-making.

Let’s look at each phrase literally:

“Can’t you do it yourself?”  the answer to this is: ‘yes. I can’.  And I know I can.  So…therefore the answer affirms that I’m capable (and so are you).

And that means that our character is intact so we are free to use this capacity to discover what we’re best at and find the people who are best suited for everything else.

“It’s your responsibility.”  The fact is that’s true.  All of the tasks in my business and life are my responsibility.  And the same is true for you.

And this means that we are free to choose.  It’s no one else’s business, it’s yours.  So you get to choose how you want your life and business set up.  You get to design the infrastructure that supports you and delegate accordingly.

Many of you are bringing your growth issues to your coaching sessions and working through your versions of these thoughts…to shift your mindset in a way that supports your vision, mission, values and goals and are reaping a harvest of payoff in health, effectiveness, recognition and profits.  Post your comments and experiences here on the blog.

and consider…

Who are you listening to?

What thoughts are driving your actions?

What needs to shift?

What new actions will you take?